I just read a post by friend Josh Goeke about how gloom is 'in.' It is in, it seems...and has been for a some time. I read my friend Mat's response--"...I just wanna scream, 'Ever been to a third world country?'" It really is ridiculous...the whole 'gloom' and 'me, me, me' thing is why I'm not so into this stuff anymore...Xanga and related(mostly) depresses me. I find myself disappointed with peoples' posts...so much so that there are many, many sites I deliberately do not look at because it will sadden my heart so much (though I rarely look at anyone's anymore...only those that are uplifting or just simply random and real and fun).

With all that said...I don't really know why I decided to write something today. Maybe I just wanted to communicate some thoughts to Mandy Moo, who is probably the only one that will see this. Or whoever.

I am so eternally blessed, no matter how bad I am feeling. I can't believe the changes that God has done in my heart in just the span of one year. It is crazy how I feel so much closer to Him, yet still SO far away. This morning in Sunday School we talked about how it will take eternity to get to know God, because He is so much, and has so many attributes. I am still learning just how utterly selfish I am. And those moments I am not are the grace of God in my life. It is such a blessed thing to LOVE someone...to get outside of yourself, for a moment, and really CARE about what he or she is going through, and to want the glory of God to be reached in and through his or her life more than you want any thing or any benefit from it or the 'success'--or whatever--for yourself. To simply want the very best--but God's best, for someone. To stop just praying for 'needs,' but start praying more for their ultimate, true need, which is a real, vital, daily relationship with the resurrected Jesus Christ--a trust in Him that surpasses all understanding in the peace it brings. I am learning that God is so good...so much more so than could I ever know, or am even aware.

Anyways, time to go home and get on with life...I have extreme lazy tendencies. Oh! and one more thing...I noticed that my boyfriend posted about me on his website...so I figured I should mention him as well! Like you don't know already if you are reading this. But anyways, Ross is an amazing, incredible person, full of character and integrity, and I respect and admire him so much. He has been a great friend for a long time, and now, in our dating relationship, we are growing closer and our friendship is growing stronger. He is a true blessing in my life and I am so thankful for this season, and I want Jesus to receive all of the glory, no matter what happens. Okay...see ya!